You people make me sick with your stupid questions.

But regardless you can continue to mail me your crap advice questions here.

Hey Peeves,

So I'm with this girl and we're pretty cool together. She says she loves me but I don't believe her. Anyways, I cheated on her with this other girl, and now this other girl really wants me, so she starts dating this guy I really hate just to make me jealous. Should I stay with the first, or go with the second, or kick her boyfriend's ass, or just say screw it all?

Thanks.

-- Ben

Ben --

You've narrowed your own choices down to a girl you don't care about and a girl who either dislikes you or is incredibly immature. Idiot. You must really hate yourself to get into a situation like this.

If you find yourself having these types of problems that makes you a DRAMA WHORE. You want drama in your life and no matter what you think you only care about people to the extent you can use them as pawns in your sick dramatic "life."

I don't care what idiots like to do. You don't even need my advice because you're getting exactly what you want already. Shut up you repulsive sicko.

-- Peeves

Dear Peeves,

My final exams start in a couple of months. At school, I get top-notch grades. But for the past couple of months, my concentration levels have really dipped. Whenever I sit down and try to study, I either begin to dawdle, or leave studies and go and stare at the idiot box, or go out and play football or something. I am worried that I might be suffering from
attention deficit. As you are an expert in 'shock therapy', so to speak, I guess you are the best person to ask for fast, easy relief to my problem. I like school, and I really want to do well in these exams. Your help would be appreciated.

-- GogZ

GogZ --

Do you always brag like this? I never asked about your grades. You don't need to qualify yourself to me when you ask me for advice.

Clearly the problem is in your head, dumbass. You sent me a really goddamn long e-mail, which doesn't seem very ADD.

Did you ever consider that you're too stupid to follow along in school? Because there's a huge difference in bragging about how great you are and actually being great (like me.)

You want shock treatment? Get someone to kick you in the crotch. It's not my problem.

-- Peeves

Dear Peeves,

Give me some advice should I have threesomes? Are they wrong? Do they degrade women?

-- Truth626

Truth 626 --

Look if the girls are okay with it, there's nothing degrading about it. If they're not, it's rape. I can't even imagine how dumb you'd have to be to think this would degrade women. Get out of my face, dullard.

-- Peeves

That's all the advice I'm dishing out for now, fortunately. Send me more questions and I'll answer them when I have nothing better to do than talk to you losers.