You pathetic morons send me more questions every week. It's disturbing, I don't know what the hell is wrong with you.

These days people whine a lot about "supporting our troops" and whatever. But let's not forget why people enlist in the armed forces: they want to die.

Think about it. Do you value your life? If not, join the military today and they'll help you end it. Hey, at the very least maybe you'll get to lose a limb... or four. You dullard.

Dear Peeves,

Do you think the US should pull out their troops from the Middle-East?

- James

James --

No. I think we should drop a nuclear bomb on the entire region -- our troops and all. Good riddance to those dullards, we're better off without idiots like them.

Support our troops -- help them die.

--Peeves

Dear Peeves,

i am a straight guy who has absolutlity no luck with girls. is it worth sticking with girls or should i give up and go buttfuck some gay guys?

-Yankee

Yankee --

If girls don't want you your retarded ass, why the hell would you think guys should? Chances are you're an ugly loser. Nobody likes you and they have good reasons, moron.

Get out of my face before I lose it jerk. What a stupid question.

-- Peeves

Dear Peeves,

I am 16 and sexually frustrated. I really want oral, badly. Sex i can wait for (with someone really specail, and all that crap), but head i need. Should I:
a) get it from one of the two sluts who currently like me or
b) wait until i have a girlfriend who is williing to do me the favour?

- Josh.

P.S. Completly agree with all your policies in reguards to Bush and
Religion. KEEP ON TRYING TO WAKE STUPID AMERICA UP, YOU FUCKING RULE!

Josh --

Come on nitwit, do you think sucking up to me like that will help? Forget it. Don't even bother writing if you're that desperate.

Get lost. I don't want to hear from you again.

-- Peeves

Dear Peeves,

is it ok to jack off in the shower with shampoo?

- Shower Head

Shower Head --

What the hell is up with these questions? From now on I don't want to hear about any of you masturbating. Got that? Do what you want and SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT IT or I'll rip your goddamn toenails off.

-- Peeves

That's all for now, losers. As always go here to send ol' Mr. Peeves a question.