But as usual I've overestimated your reasoning ability. So before you make the mistake of sending me a letter like the ones you're about to see, think twice: are you sure it's worth messing with Peeves? Are you sure you want to get the crap beaten out of you?

Still want to mess with me? Click here to Ask Peeves.

Dear Peeves,

You are a big fat cocksucking piece of shit. you need to pull your fat head out of your hairy ass and find a girl to fuck instead of giving people shit all of the time. Go find something productive or atleast something non gay ass to do with your life you ass licking queef inhailer. go find some human or animal to spend your time with and fuck instead of running this gay ass website.

go fuck your mom

-- Dicksucker220

( . Y . )-------<=====================3

Dick --

I see you're getting fancy there with the symbols on your keyboard. Maybe you should have spent less time on your text artwork and more time looking up how to spell the word "inhaler" (assuming that's what you meant.)

Even if I had sex in the ways you described (ways which you probably got off on while you were writing about) I would still be better than you. It's a fact. If nothing else, at least I know how to write coherently.

I'm sure they're missing you by now, so why don't you return to your cage at the zoo?

-- Peeves

Dear Peeves,

Do you masturbate Peeves? Because it must get real lonely! Considering I'm assuming you don't have a wife. Well, a boyfriend, but I'm sure he left when you got such a bad attitude from all the dicks shoved up your ass! So tell me, do you get any pleasure. And I mean sexual pleasure, not the pleasure of putting down kids. You must have no life, since all you do is put people down all the time. I know it's your job, but if you hate it, why not just get a job you actually like so you aren't so uptight. Maybe it could actually make you a friend! Don't want one? Well, then just keep on doing what you do cause I hate your stupid crazy ass damn fucking advice...it's fucking nuts! DULLARD someone should KICK YOU IN THE FACE or the CROTCH even though YOU HAVE NOTHING THERE!!!!!!

With Love
~*Jessi*~

Jessi --

Your attempts at insulting me are pathetic. Is this the best hate mail you can write? That's sad. I'm glad I'm not you.

Why don't you just do us a favor and get lost? Or maybe you'd like to get your foot sawed off. Idiot.

-- Peeves

Dear Peeves,

why dont you give people nice fucking answers you whore! you bloody bicth you! the real reaper would kill u just for calling him a nerd!!!! i no as i am on very good terms with him and it seems i will die early cos i am fucing LIKABLE!!!!! u suck u do!!!!!!

urs sincerely ,

-- the reepers messenger

Ass Reeper --

Look, I don't want to hear any more shit from you, dullard. If you don't like me, shut the hell up. Nobody wants you hear your whining.

Stand in my way and you've bought yourself a ticket head-first into a thrashing machine.

-- Peeves

Dear Peeves,

So I've read all the really mean things that you write to people and I think thats It's really uncalled for.
You should get a fucking life and grow up like really
If you have nothing better to do with your time then just go kill your self you fat ugly fagit.

-- Amber

Amber --

Hmmm, I don't think so. I'm not the one who has nothing better to do than write bitchy letters to someone I'd describe as a "fat ugly fagit."

Get lost or you'll have to get stitches, jackass.

-- Peeves

When you need advice, just ask me.