I'll say it again: you can't "make" a girl like you. I know, you're not listening.

You STILL think there's some magical way to force people you barely even know into mistaking you for a rich and handsome gentleman. Well get off your high horse and feel the cold smack of reality on your ugly face.

So next time you Ask Peeves (me) you'd better not ask about this. Do I make myself clear?

Dear Peeves,

I have a big question, how do you get a girl to like you? I have tried every thing to get her to like me. I am usually very cool around girls except this one.

I came to you because you rock . Please send me an answer, this girl needs to fuckin like me!

-- JT

Dear Peeves,

how do you make a girl like you again?

-- Josh

All you loser guys --

Where the hell were you when I wrote about this last month? For the last fucking time, YOU CAN'T "MAKE" SOMEONE LIKE YOU. How stupid can you be?

Whether or not someone likes you is their choice, NOT yours. Girls are people, not puppets for your sick fantasies. Understand? You'd better, dumbass.

And don't even think about trying to "impress" this girl. Whatever stupid plan you come up with, I guarantee that the only girl "impressed" by it will be your mom.

You're all stupid kids who smell bad and girls hate you for a reason. Until you fix your real problems you shouldn't waste your time fantasizing.

Now get the hell out of my face.

-- Peeves

Dear Peeves,

How do I get a girl to marry me?

-- N.E.

I bet you're such a loser that you haven't even talked to this girl, have you? Well the good news is you don't need to bother anyway -- the second you open your mouth around her she'll walk away from your loser ass.

You'd better think twice, dullard. Now YOU get lost too.

-- Peeves

See also: Peeves on relationship issues
Stupid love problems for Valentine's day
Nobody cares about your stupid "relationship"
How to make a girl like you

Have a question that isn't completely stupid? Send it to me.