Relationships that suck.
Let's put it this way: most of you don't understand a goddamn thing about relationships. Not a goddamn thing.
I don't even know where to start with you people. When it comes to relationships you're like babies falling over for their first times when learning to walk. In other words: pathetic.
Dear Peeves,
I have no idea what to do! Please i need some actual advice from you this time! I'm 14 and my boyfreind is 16. My mother found out and wants me to break up with him. But I've never met anyone so sweet and wonderful (and that dosnt want to get in my pants). So... what do I do? Drop him like a sack of potatoes, tell my mom to fuck off, or just say that I dumped him and dont? I would really appreciate your help.
Love,
-- Heidi
Heidi --
He doesn't want to get in your pants? Sounds like a lousy boyfriend. And you sound like an idiot who takes a lot of crap from people. Go fuck yourself. Nobody else will.
-- Peeves
Need advice from an angry guy? Ask Peeves.
Dear Peeves,
Peeves me and my boyfriend have been going out for 8 months and just last night he told me that he wanted to see other people and he really loved me but he said also said that he wanted to break up with me cause we haven't been having sex lately. He wants a freak for a girl friend. What should I do, see other people or just wait for him?
-- Ms. Lonely
Lonely --
Wait for him to do what, get a life while you waste your life thinking about this loser? Damn you're a dullard. Look, if he's through with you there's nothing you can do about it.
I don't know how many Disney fairy tales you were brainwashed with as a kid, but you clearly have NO IDEA how relationships work. So maybe this would be a good time to quit trying.
Do you think you should control your boyfriend's mind? You're messed up, lady. You say this guy wants a freak for a girlfriend, but it sounds to me like he already has one.
-- Peeves
Dear Peeves,
I am a 13 year old kid in Waterville Maine. My problem is that I have the hots for my friend Dan, another boy. Like the other day I saw him on the Slip n' Slide. I was so turned on by his muscular physique... what should I do?
-- B.B.
B.B. --
Nothing. Think about it: you're THIRTEEN YEARS OLD. I honestly don't give a shit what kind of sex you're into. But no matter what you do under the covers, you're way too young and stupid to do it responsibly. So forget it. Idiot.
-- Peeves
See also: Peeves on relationship issues
Girls hate liars
Damn wussy girls
How to make a girl like you
Got your own a question for Peeves? Find out how to send it here.
Fri, 2006-06-23 07:47 
wow for once peeves I can actually agree. For one kids at such young ages shouldn't be thinking about sex. Why? Let's see! Hmmm... well for one, it's fucking illegal. Do you know that if you are caught with that shit, it's jail time? You want that? I sure the hell don't. Two, you're kids. At your age we never thought about sex or being sexually active. We played sports or hung out at my place and did prank calls. Three, I'm sure it grosses people out to hear about little kids having sex. At least when you're sixteen it's somewhat okay. I'm not saying it's all good to do it but at least you've hit puberty. And don't go assuming thats a good excuse because it's still against the law.
I tell you kids what. Make the right choices, listen to your elders, and when you reach about 20 then you can worry about mondo sex and having commited relationships. Otherwise you're not gonna ever find a guy or girl that will want to stay with you because they want to hit the whole friggin school.
That One Guy you just hate to love...