Are you idiots trying to piss me off now? Bad mistake.

I got news for all you losers: it isn't going to work. Because I already hate you.

Get lost. I don't need any more reasons to hate your stupid ass.

PEEVES!

Harry Potter books are not for little kids! I know a lot of adults who like to read them (including my teachers,) so if you don't read them that makes you uneducated. I doubt a little kid could even understand most of what's in the books! The books are becoming really dark and angsty, lots of people are dying, and J.K. Rowling said that Harry will probably die in next book. If they were children's books they would be all happy and shitty.

Also, Harry Potter books are very well written, a lot of the names are from myths and still fit the character. And the characters "snog" or make out a lot, unlike in kid's books.

I could go on all night, but the point is don't say Harry Potter sucks until you've actually read the books, you ignorant dullard.

- Emily

Emily --

Kids don't have to understand Harry Potter. And for all I care most kids probably don't recognize the celebrities on Sesame Street, or "get" the meaningless pop culture references in kids' cartoons.

Just because kids don't understand something doesn't mean it's not meant for them so fuck off.

-- Peeves

Need advice from an angry guy? Ask Peeves.

Peeves,

I have a question. You're always talking about how shitty today's music is, like Slipknot (which I have to agree). Which brings me to my question, what kind of music DO you listen to?
Sincerely,

Karuri --

-- Karuri

The only music I listen to is the sound of some guy's ribcage snapping as it's getting kicked in by my steel-toed boots.

I don't need music other than that.

-- Peeves

Dear Peeves,

Do you know how to block an IP adress from writing comments on your web site? I need to stop this fuck tard Joe who's spamming my guestbook (he says he knows you.) I can delete his comments, but it would be better to block him. This girl I used to spam did that to me and my friend Hendrika.

-- CrazySwedishGirl

CrazySwedishGirl --

Who do you think I am, a systems administrator?

I'll fix your computer alright. I'll break it over your goddamn head you dullard.

-- Peeves

Dear Peeves,

i am a wiggger with a pregnant girl friend what should i do i keep on telling black people im 100% real nigga i think my skin is turning black

-- Wigger

Wigger --

Go ahead. Start telling people you're black.

But when a group of black guys beat the living shit out of you, please send me photos. I want to see your blood getting spilled.

-- Peeves

Dear Peeves,

How do I persuade my girlfriend that weed is not bad for her? Weed makes me an intellect.

-- Pimp

Pimp --

Who the hell do you think you are, one of those bad guys in an anti-drug video?

If she doesn't want to do drugs with you, that's her choice. Not yours.

I'm sure hope she'll dump your lame peer-pressuring ass anyway. Loser.

-- Peeves

Need advice? Click here to Ask Peeves.

See also: Recent Ask Peeves
You're pathetic
One more idiot.
How do I ask her to marry me?
Foot-phobics and other dullards