Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

by Peeves

Sat, 2006-09-23 23:27
Topics: chicken or the egg | philosophy | Ask Peeves

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If you're someone who really needs advice, that's fine -- go ahead and ask me. But only if you need REAL advice and have a REAL question. Got that?

So if you're one of the losers who sends me nonsense bullshit questions, here's some advice: get a goddamn life, dullard. Who the hell do you think you are?

Now that we have that settled, on to one of the oldest -- and most bullshit -- philosophical questions of all time.

Dear Peeves,

Seeing as you're so smart, tell me which came first chicken or egg?

-- G.

G. --

Remember in school when they told you "there's no such thing as a stupid question"? They lied. Your question is unbelievably stupid.

Why? Because the question is purely semantic. The only real difference between a chicken and an egg is the word you use to describe it. At least as far as nature is concerned.

So shut the hell up before I throw a carton of eggs in your direction.

-- Peeves

When you need advice, just Ask Peeves.

Dear Peeves,

hey, go here and we both get a free ipod

pretty pretty please :)

[url removed]

-- M.

M --

Goddamn it.

Fuck sending people advertisements, fuck pyramid schemes, and most importantly FUCK YOU.

I don't want to ever get shit like this from you -- or anyone else -- ever again. Have I made myself clear on this issue? Do I have to ram my boot down your fucking throat?

-- Peeves

Dear Peeves,

can a living human be genetically modified.? ie not during fertilsation but a already human

-- E.S.

E.S. --

What is this, a pop quiz? Look dullard, I don't know who you're planning on genetically modifying but it had better not be me.

If you come within 10 feet of my house, you're going to have a baseball bat in the goddam chest. Understand?

Now get lost, freak.

-- Peeves

Dear Peeves,

me just want to know how me can get outside safely without the damn people from immigration arresting me to send me back mexico...me really like being here with the gringos can you help me?

-- P.

P. --

No.

-- Peeves

See also: Recent Ask Peeves
How do I lose weight?
The cure for "penis poo" disease.
The REAL reason Harry Potter fans should shut the hell up
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How do I get laid?

Do you need advice? Click here to Ask Peeves.

Gash

Sun, 2006-09-24 22:59

Dear braindead peeves

A chicken and an egg are two completely different things. It is quite obvious that the chicken came before the egg.
This is my thoery i'm sure you're very interested...
First there was a bacteria which evolved into a chicken which evolved to have a reproductive system.

metalbaz

Mon, 2006-09-25 12:14

Peeves wrote: "Remember in school when they told you "there's no such thing as a stupid question"? They lied. Your question is unbelievably stupid."

Hey douche, you already used this line in your older "advices". Be original dipshit.

bougalou

Mon, 2006-09-25 16:58

Metal Balls and Gash, you both gotta be totally out of your mind to insult Peeves like you just did.

I'll pray for you, but I don't guarantee that he will not fuck you with his "saw-all"-mounted-sand-paper dildo.

Alexia Anthem

Mon, 2006-09-25 21:15

gash wrote:

Dear braindead peeves

A chicken and an egg are two completely different things. It is quite obvious that the chicken came before the egg.
This is my thoery i'm sure you're very interested...
First there was a bacteria which evolved into a chicken which evolved to have a reproductive system.

Accordig to my philosophy and evolution books you are totally incorrect. Egg came first.

I hope you know chikens come out of eggs.

Alexia Anthem

Mon, 2006-09-25 21:17

"If there is nobody around, does a tree falling in a forest make a sound?"

I think Peeves wants to kill me now.

ImPeeves

Mon, 2006-09-25 21:34

Damn right.

Secret Police

Mon, 2006-09-25 21:37

I know who peeves is!!!!

Peeves

Tue, 2006-09-26 05:29

Anyone who disagrees with me about the egg thing needs to find something better to do -- something which would specially suit their mental capacity, like a job artificially inseminating farm animals.

Alexia Anthem wrote:
"If there is nobody around, does a tree falling in a forest make a sound?" I think Peeves wants to kill me now.

Haven't I answered this one by now? Goddamn it.

Secret Police wrote:
I know who peeves is!!!!

No you don't, you're a fucking liar. I have no idea who you are; therefore you could not possibly know who I am.

Gash

Thu, 2006-09-28 19:17

Alexia yes, chickens do come out of eggs..but who layed the egg??
Hence why my theory is the correct theory and why peeves as well is so darn stupid. Peevs what happend to you man? i thought u were meant to be smart?
U dissapoint me.

Ah well ho hum..i hate being right but what can i say?

MrEricSir

Thu, 2006-09-28 20:27

gash wrote:
Alexia yes, chickens do come out of eggs..but who layed the egg??

Chickens lay eggs. But where do the chickens come from? OMG!?!?!

Diptera

Fri, 2006-09-29 07:55

.:[cycliclogic]:.

YOUR HEAD ASPLODE

Gash

Fri, 2006-09-29 10:26

From a bacteria!!! jesus christ..did you not read my thoery?!!!

it's all explained there.

MrEricSir

Fri, 2006-09-29 15:31

gash wrote:

From a bacteria!!! jesus christ..did you not read my thoery?!!!

it's all explained there.

But your thoery doesn't answer the question!

Gash

Sat, 2006-09-30 13:30

it does!!!!
i said it evolved into a chicken! Please don't tell me I have to describe the process of evolution and how it all happend I mean i'm not a scientist.

MrEricSir

Sat, 2006-09-30 18:29

No, look. The question is "which came first chicken or egg?"

Note that bacteria is NOT one of the options.

Gash

Sun, 2006-10-01 14:19

It is part of the option because the bacteria EVOLVED into the chicken!!!

Chicken..see thereu go. It leads into the development of the chicken. Chicken yes i repeat chicken not egg.

Chicken

one feels like chicken tonight...chicken tonight.

MrEricSir

Sun, 2006-10-01 18:25

So you're saying bacteria magically turned into a chicken, with nothing in between?

Because I know a few hundred thousand professionals who would disagree with you here...

Epershandrea

Sun, 2006-10-01 21:10

^ You know a few hundred thousand professionals? Your Rolodex must be huge!

Diptera

Sun, 2006-10-01 22:35

Only the Ultimate Professionals use Rolodex™.

420

Mon, 2006-10-02 03:10

dude you guys should stop arguing and smoke a bowl man

Gash

Mon, 2006-10-02 14:38

no there were inbetween stages as well but point is the last stage was the chicken not the egg. The egg came when the chicken layed it to reproduce. There you go.

Sorted.

Epershandrea

Mon, 2006-10-02 15:28

Come on, guys. We all know that dinosaurs came first. Dinosaurs.

MrEricSir

Mon, 2006-10-02 15:50

deardeadly wrote:
Your Rolodex must be huge!

Not as huge as the Rolodex between my legs!

Diptera

Mon, 2006-10-02 18:11

Rolodix.

MrEricSir

Mon, 2006-10-02 18:58

Rolos?

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Devils Lil Sis

Mon, 2006-10-02 21:01

the answer is neither. over billions of years lizards began to evolve into chickens. the lizards layed eggs and over an extended period of time the offspring began to look more and more like or modern day chickens, how do u like that!?

Diptera

Mon, 2006-10-02 23:30

But which came first, the lizard or the egg?!

dilly d

Tue, 2006-10-03 04:12

peeves evolved from a lizard.

metalbaz

Tue, 2006-10-03 15:58

dilly d wrote:
peeves evolved from a lizard.

And you evolved from Billy101.

Gash

Tue, 2006-10-03 16:19

lizard came before egg

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