Oh man I just read this book called Fast Food Nation. You probably heard of it. It's by by Eric Schlosser. Dude, I gotta say this book is like a total bummer dude. Major buzz kill.

It's all about reasons not to eat fast food and why it's bad to give fast food places money. Especially McD's. And KFC. Even Taco Bell!

When Sara told me about this book I was like, "dude, that's totally bogus. There's nothing wrong with fast food." But this book is all like, hella researched and shit, dude. I guess I was wrong.

But maybe I shoulda known better since I like worked at McDonald's that one summer. It totally sucked ass. I spit in most of the food.

Wait, hold on, I gotta take a bong rip...

Okay, so what was I talking about again? Oh yeah.

I went through Fast Food Nation and made a list of reasons why I'm gonna try to avoid fast food from now on. It's like a mission statement for my new diet or some shit. Here, I'm kinda baked but these are like the top five reasons I can remember right now.

1. It's bad for you.

   That's why it's so good. Because it's bad.

   Dude, I gotta start working out again, 'cause I been eating Taco Bell way too much. Dude it's so good though! Oh man quitting fast food is gonna suck.

   But Fast Food Nation says the food is addictive on purpose. You get used to all that fat dude and it's hard to let go. The reason fast food tastes sooooo good in the first place is 'cause the flavors are made in a lab. I don't want chemists making my food, man, that's totally janky.

2. Workers don't get paid enough.

   People who make fast food don't get paid shit. Believe me, the one summer I worked at McDonald's the pay sucked ass.

   Like... I barely got paid enough to stock up with a phat sack every week if you know what I mean, dude. And after that, I didn't even have enough leftover cash to pay my credit card bills!

   Fuck working at McDonald's.

3. Soylent green is people.

   Like, the meat in those burgers is ground up by workers who are like missing fingers and arms and shit. Guess where their limbs went? INTO THE MEAT!!

   Nasty as hell dude. Cannibalism ain't kind, even when you totally didn't mean it.

4. The food's dirty.

   Dude I could tell you hella stories about spitting in people's burgers at McDonald's, dude.

   I ever tell you the McSpit story? One time I made this one bitchy customer a special burger that just two buns, some pickles, and a layer of spit.

   A little spit never hurt anybody, but eating at Jack in the Crack DID kill some people. Dude, isn't that so fucked? The book even says this one kid's brain rotted away when he ate a burger that was cooked wrong.

5. Think of the kids, man!

   Dude I gotta tell you I love children. And after reading Fast Food Nation I get a little pissed when I see kids who like, eat nothing but fast food.

   I'm not like blaming Ronald McDonald here, because clowns are wicked cool, man. But parents should be more responsible an' shit about what their kids eat.

So yeah, fast food is hella bad. Lesson learned.

Man that's rough dude. And it's totally rough when I get the munchies. I guess I'll have to eat salads and hummus bagels from now on dude. Bummer!

Alright look dude, I gotta get moving, maybe we'll talk later.

PEACE!

See also: Dangers of fast food
Fuck Mickey D.'s by El Doggio