In the unlikely event you were somehow fortunate enough to miss the Numa Numa internet phenomenon, you can still watch the video that sparked it all: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/206373

Today I'm rounding up a statistical random sample of some Numa Numa videos. I'm going to rate them on a 0-100% scale, and suggest a possible use for each video.

• http://youtube.com/watch?v=IwRFJUtFwz0

  If you're one of those people who thought the original video wasn't dorky enough, this one is for you.

  Rating: 28%. There's something oddly seductive about Mr. Blingbling and his life partner, Weird Hat Guy. Is it the facial expressions, or the cracked out dancing? Either way I had the nagging suspicion I just wasted several minutes of my life.

  Possible use: If anyone ever needed proof that Numa Numa makes you stupid, this is it. Watching this lowered my IQ by a startling 68 points.

• http://youtube.com/watch?v=N6j475XI1Xg

  A mindlessly hyper gap-toothed chick named Brookers is the self-proclaimed "Number one Numa fan." Witness the frightening results of long-term exposure to the harmful effects of energy drinks on human behavior.

  Rating: 37%. I would have liked to see more shots of the gap between her teeth (and her boobs.)

  Possible use: Would make a good advertisement for ADD medication.

• http://youtube.com/watch?v=klk78Hl1bBU

  For proof that the Numa Numa internet phenomenon crosses cultural boundaries we turn to a Malaysian interpretive-dance version.

  Rating: 2.6%. It's like a remake that nobody asked for. The fat kid is highly reminiscent of the original.

  Possible use: Exploring foreign cultures without the disgusting foreign cuisine and mysterious foreign bathroom fixtures.

• http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8408880915128432030 Students at the University of British Columbia put together this video, which is four minutes and 36 seconds of raw, unfiltered homosexuality. Alas, we wouldn't have this video if only these students had taken more units or harder classes. Speaking of hard units, this video is way too gay.

  Rating: -11%. Watching this made my ass hurt.

  Possible use: Turning people gay.

• http://youtube.com/watch?v=lHF483cuzuY

  Do you play video games all day? Do you waste your life watching hours and hours of lame online videos? WoW you're a loser. This one's for you.

  Rating: -25%. Just kill yourself.

  Possible use: Driving even those with the strongest constitution to absolute madness.

There you have it folks. I personally guarantee that at this point, if you watched all those videos, Numa Numa will be stuck in your head for days. Consider shooting yourself now.

See also: Numa Numa internet phenomenon
Decker's review of Gary B.'s New Numa video