To quote my favourite line from Kurt Vonnegut Jr.'s Harrison Bergeron,

"Um."

Yes, phone operators are zombies. So are traffic wardens and cinema commissionaires.

You certainly are an alert box.

U a psycobitch lady...

U are a total supporter of satan and u know why? Because only satan would give u that pice of FUCKING BULLSHIT IDEA!!

Good day to u madam

and yes i am a Christian

Christine Bentley wrote:

Lately a troubling question has been on my mind. We all know we're going to die. What happens next? What happens after you die? I'm pleased to say The Phone Company has an answer to this troubling question. I think the truth about eternal life after death will make you very happy, thank Bell.

What I used to believe

Before The Phone Company bought my church, I believed all kinds of silly things. Even about the afterlife. For example, the previous owners of the church convinced me that we each have an immortal "soul," and after we die the soul travels up to heaven for all of eternity. What rubbish!

The Truth

The real honest-to-Bell truth is very simple. After burial, The Phone Company digs up freshly deceased customers the following midnight. Bell technicians inject the corpses with "Vampirium D," a substance which brings them back to life! But make no mistake --- this re-animated person is no longer a mere "customer." He or she will spend eternity as a Telephone Operator in a Phone Company paradise facility! What a joyful time that must be. To tell you the truth, I'm almost looking forward to it!

What about the Disconnected?

Now not all of us are entitled to such a desirable fate. I must say, folks who have been Disconnected... well they honestly deserve to be punished for their many Anti-Bells. Even after death. You'll be glad to know these despicable Bell-less souls will be spending their eternity in Cable Company concentration camps. At these camps, the Disconnected eat microwave dinners in front of a television, watching nothing but reruns of Rosanne, Married With Children, and Full House. Next time you consider committing an Anti-Bell, imagine the terrible eternity you could one day face. My, my... I'm getting faint simply typing about it!

Conclusion

Looking back, it's difficult to believe I'd been convinced of this foolish "heaven" nonsense. Immortal souls flying around on clouds? Now isn't that just plain silly? Well, I hear the ringing. Call you again real soon!

 Fuck You BITCH!!!!!!