I gave that fucking impersonator time to come back from his goddamn vacation, and he still hasn't. That's why I'm taking over for "Peeves." Send your questions to me at impeeves@yahoo.com. I'll answer them and post them here. Now get lost.
I haven't gotten any emails yet. I guess this means everyone's too scared of what's going to happen to them if they ask something extremely stupid. I can't say the same for the last guy.
Hey peeves can you help me out? Can you tell me how to get my dilly out of my zipper before anyone knows I'm having a problemo? Thanks
Dr. T.K. Justice
Dr. T.K. Justice--
Yes, I can. Get a huge, sharp goddamn knife and cut off your "dilly." That way, it'll be out of your zipper and you won't be able to ask me about it again, you freak.
I know who Dr. T.K. Justice is, but I am not in freedom to say. And HP, stop trying to convince everyone you're not ImPeeves. It's as obvious as billy101 and me not being the same person.
Hello Peeves, A plane travels faster than a train, yet when you look up in the sky the plane appears to be moving quite slowly whereas a plane speeds right past you. How come?
I know this is a stupid question but it's not as stupid as some of the other questions you answer. I'm glad I know your email address...soon I'll know your house address and shall be able to freely stalk you :) I know you want me to, don't even try denying it, deep down you can't deny the way you feel. You've been longing for a stalker and I'm it!!
-Gash
Gash-
Hmm, maybe that's because the plane is miles away from you while the train is feet away from you. I can't believe you're stupid enough to ask something like that (actually I can), and I think an adequate punishment for your stupidity would be chaining you to some railroad tracks right before a train comes. That means you'll be dead before you can even start to stalk me!
but that's what I don't get!!! Ok the plane is further away from me than the train but why does it seem to be going slower?!! When I look at the sky I can see that after let's say 5 minutes or so it's still around my area whereas the train would have been way past it!!!
Tie me to the train tracks and I'll haunt you after I die.
COME ON, ImPeeves! You have to keep up with posting emails if you want to take over! HP has sent you one, so that's one that we know of! You'll never take over if you keep this up!
Ok, I'm now answering all the retarded questions I got in the last few days. So all you fucktards can quit your complaining.
yo yo yo! i gut a kweshtin! wen im in a gang fite were is da best place to shoot a gangsta? i mean i shot wun in da spleen but it didnt die. da spleen! i havnt reely tryd anywere els but da spleen duznt work. cood u tel me were a gewd place is to shoot a gangsta?
yo homie g,
farmboy--
Farm Boy--
Do you think I would give an illiterate person advice on shooting a gun? (That is besides putting it up to your head a blowing what brains you have left out.) Think again, dumbass.
And "your" a fucking wuss for not leaving a name with your extremely weak insult.
--Peeves
Dear Peeves,
Why does everyone think we're the same person?
--Emily
Emily--
Because they're all a bunch of goddamn dullards. I don't see how anyone with half a brain could mistake us for the same person. I'm obviously so much better than you.
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I gave that fucking impersonator time to come back from his goddamn vacation, and he still hasn't. That's why I'm taking over for "Peeves." Send your questions to me at impeeves@yahoo.com. I'll answer them and post them here. Now get lost.