Fart perfume

MrEricSir's picture
Joined: 2005-10-19
Posts: 2571
Sat, 2007-07-21 22:55

I was thinking about how there isn't a single perfume on the market today -- not even one! -- that smells like human farts.

This is an untapped market here, folks. The opportunity is too good to pass up.

Who's ready to invest? Act now while you still can!


   

Tirobir's picture
Joined: 2006-01-01
Posts: 2025
Sat, 2007-07-21 23:09

But there are so many kinds of farts. When I was up in the club last night some chick definitely smelled like cotton candy.



Qevosk's picture
Joined: 2006-10-05
Posts: 2150
Sun, 2007-07-22 02:15

"Eau de Ass"



bougalou's picture
Joined: 2006-01-01
Posts: 693
Sun, 2007-07-22 03:32

I know organic chemistry a bit... for shit smell, we should first have a good supplier of 3-methyl-indole (nicknamed scat-indole) and then try to do variations for beans, cheese, beer, french fries, etc. Some smell like rotten eggs (beans' farts) and for this some sulfur containing compounds would do the job like the ones they add to LP and NG (liquid propane and natural gas) so that one can detect a potential leak when it happens.

Of course, we could go the "natural" way by collecting actual farts and concentrate them to perfumes, like they do in Côte d'Azur in Grasse, where they grow flowers, extract the good smelling compounds and mix them to perfumes.

But, I'm confident we can achieve a good fart smell with synthetic compounds women will be enchanted to know that it's not their boyfriends/husbands that smell like that, it's their perfume (his' or hers of course, because such a perfume would be so much delectable that it would be totally universal!)



Tirobir's picture
Joined: 2006-01-01
Posts: 2025
Sun, 2007-07-22 04:55

Qevosk wrote:
"Eau de Ass"

Or just "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeau!"



MrEricSir's picture
Joined: 2005-10-19
Posts: 2571
Sun, 2007-07-22 06:31

I like the idea of having different versions. We could have hamburger, bean burrito, bbq chicken, Durritos, etc. But we'd have to be careful not to let the food smell overpower the fart smell.

bougalou is in charge of formulation.



Qevosk's picture
Joined: 2006-10-05
Posts: 2150
Sun, 2007-07-22 06:43

To lighten the mood skip ahead to :29. It made my day.




twinklestar's picture
Joined: 2006-07-27
Posts: 286
Sun, 2007-07-22 13:32

You should definately invest in vegetarian farts. Being one, I know that they smelll the worst due to beans, cabbage, radishes, onions, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cauliflower, cucumbers, sauerkraut, asparagus .  

 When you press the top, will it make a farting noise? 



MrEricSir's picture
Joined: 2005-10-19
Posts: 2571
Sun, 2007-07-22 17:38

No way, meat farts are the worst. Humans take 2-3 days to digest food.

Have you smelled meat that's been left out for 2-3 days? Same smell.



bougalou's picture
Joined: 2006-01-01
Posts: 693
Mon, 2007-07-23 03:52

What about perfumes that have charasteristic eructation smells?

Like garlic salad dressing, raw onions, Pont l'Évêque or Münster, cigarette and coffee, or simply shit breath?

This one could come as a spray that you would just vaporize in your mouth to please the people you hang around with... without the need to actually eat those foods.

Believe last time, I ate a full garlic clove (and I mean, not gay garlic cloves, the ones from the garden which are strong as hell) and I felt it all the way to my duodenal curve but worse was the smell coming from my mouth when talking and breathing. Every pussy in the house (I was helping my pussy brother to move) ran away and went outside so I was left carrying the boxes by myself. 



MrEricSir's picture
Joined: 2005-10-19
Posts: 2571
Mon, 2007-07-23 05:34

Belch d'Onion

A new scent from bougalou



MrEricSir's picture
Joined: 2005-10-19
Posts: 2571
Mon, 2007-07-23 05:36

It's almost time to bring in the capital investors.

And so only now can I reveal the grandest perfume idea humanity's olfactories have ever witnessed: BODY ODOR.



bougalou's picture
Joined: 2006-01-01
Posts: 693
Mon, 2007-07-23 13:14

Speaking of body odors:

You know this one? Some blind guy, let's say Andrea Bocelli, who is pretty street wise walks in front of the fish market and says: Hi girls! 



twinklestar's picture
Joined: 2006-07-27
Posts: 286
Mon, 2007-07-23 16:16

MrEricSir wrote:
No way, meat farts are the worst. Humans take 2-3 days to digest food. Have you smelled meat that's been left out for 2-3 days? Same smell.
    

I must disagree with you there, MrEricSir. But maybe the best idea would be to let people choose their own ingredients and their own bottle design. But you could also have certain packages where the customers don't pick anything.  



Tirobir's picture
Joined: 2006-01-01
Posts: 2025
Mon, 2007-07-23 17:08

I think it would be a toss up on vegetarian/vegan versus meat farts. The meat farts should be worse smelling due to spending longer decomposing in the body, however most people are either not used to the sort of roughage in the v diets or they don't know how much of things to eat and take in too much of harsh things like soy.



MrEricSir's picture
Joined: 2005-10-19
Posts: 2571
Mon, 2007-07-23 18:17

If you get more fiber it moves through more quickly though, and ends up smelling a lot less nasty.

That being said, not all vegie diets are high fiber.



Qevosk's picture
Joined: 2006-10-05
Posts: 2150
Mon, 2007-07-23 22:41

Two words: corn shit.



bougalou's picture
Joined: 2006-01-01
Posts: 693
Tue, 2007-07-24 01:23

Qevosk wrote:
Two words: corn shit.

Corn shit is still one of the best because of the yellow little kernels remnants that stick there hardly modified by the digestive tract.

Would it be possible to pop the corn when it's mixed with shit? It would taste a lot different. 



Qevosk's picture
Joined: 2006-10-05
Posts: 2150
Tue, 2007-07-24 04:07

It wouldn't work, you pop the kernels. Not the developed corn.

Maybe the fart perfume bottles should be designed to look like shit.



MrEricSir's picture
Joined: 2005-10-19
Posts: 2571
Tue, 2007-07-24 04:17

I was thinking the bottle would look like a butt.



Inservio's picture
Joined: 2007-07-27
Posts: 35
Fri, 2007-07-27 17:28

Maybe no one wants to smell like a fart? Besides, if they really wanted to they could just eat farty things and make themselves smell like that without buying the perfume.



MrEricSir's picture
Joined: 2005-10-19
Posts: 2571
Fri, 2007-07-27 19:12

Inservio wrote:
if they really wanted to they could just eat farty things and make themselves smell like that without buying the perfume.

Only if they're too poor to afford fashion.



Kai Nikulainen's picture
Joined: 2007-07-27
Posts: 26
Fri, 2007-07-27 20:13

Farts smell good. I would so buy fart perfume.



Inservio's picture
Joined: 2007-07-27
Posts: 35
Fri, 2007-07-27 20:20

MrEricSir wrote:
Inservio wrote:
if they really wanted to they could just eat farty things and make themselves smell like that without buying the perfume.
Only if they're too poor to afford fashion.
QFT.