Hey guys!  It's me, I Love Simmons!! I'm back!

I know it's been a while, but I just woke up from a long nap on my SIMMONS BEAUTYREST mattress!

If you work out hard, you sleep hard too!  Hooray!

Did I miss anything while I was asleep? 

An E. coli outbreak.

We learned about that last week in social studies! My state (Wisconsin) has the most people who got E coli!

The place I shop now has FDA warnings next to the spinach.

Remember kids, always iridate your food with gamma radiation before eating.

Gamma radiation is quite easy to make yourself by the way, anyone can do it in a wink.

As for Popeye, when he gets in deep shit with Brutus, he'll have to use special care when eating spinach in order not to be sitting on the bowl for the week after a brawl. 

As for I_love_simmons that awoke, I'm glad it happened because he really is a major contender to the bad-ass-most member on Demon Lime contest/survey.

THERE IS NO DOUBT BOUGALOU, I AM THE MOST BAD-ASS MEMBER. JUST LOOK AT MY PIC <-------. For those of you know who want to know a little history about this whole bad-ass thing, I'll tell you. One day I was searching the internet (about a year ago) and found this site named "Ask Peeves" and I saw Peeves picture on the main page and I got pissed of him talking shit, so on Tue 13.12.2005, at 18:13 Chicago time I made a thread called "Peeves, i'm gonna fuck you up, lil penis...". This thread instantly became a hit. Perhaps this thread started the whole bad-ass era. It contained hateful messages to peeves, Angry_Jerk, Bougalou ( I met him on this thread I made. Back then he defended Peeves against my hateful content and so ther was this big flame war. Anyway Mr. Douchesir decided that the Netw0rk sucks and he made this gay-ass site. But the point is I still remain bad-ass, if you have noticed "Kill 'em all" threads, you know what I'm talking 'bout. Anyway Angry_jerk is not a bad-ass, he is a fat-ass. Ricard is disqualified for being a foreigner, and DykeSir and all those others you listed can not be bad-asses they are all bunch of soft cocks, specially (I_Love_Simmons).

Uh oh, a history lesson. Will there be a quiz?

Due to the Annual Bad-ASS contest, it's cancelled.

metalbaz wrote:

One day I was searching the internet (about a year ago) and found this site named "Ask Peeves

I found Ask Peeves when I was like 9 or 10, and searching for Peeves from Harry Potter. Ask Peeves came up but I realized it wasn't the Peeves in Harry Potter, so I left with out reading anything. Then one day at the end of 6th grade, I wondered what that site was and I was bored as hell, so I went there and got really addicted and would read it every day before and after school. When my parents found out the blocked the site, because somehow they didn't find it humorous.

metalbaz wrote:

Due to the Annual Bad-ASS contest, it's cancelled.

Fuck! I wasted all that time and Ritalin cramming!

Thanks for filling me in guys!  You're all so nice!